April 1, 2006
My husband's father abandoned his four children when they were very young.
Thirty-two years later he made efforts to reenter his son's life, and for the
past 14 years he has been a part of our family. As there is often conflict
between grown children and their parents concerning choices such as raising
children, money, and career, there is conflict in this relationship between
father and son. My husband mostly puts on a good face when around his father,
however inside he boils with anger and resentment. How can you tell me how to
raise my children or what I am doing wrong! Would you be the wealthy arrogant
man you are today if you had financially and emotionally supported your
children! How can you now criticise what I have become when you were not there
to help me make choices along the way!
So....I took it to the Internet. I Googled adult children with absent parents,
and was disappointed by what I found. There are reports that children with
absent parents are more likely to end up in jail, get divorced etc. Adult
children of absent parents have only been looked at as a statistic. Would they
be willing to speak about something that has made a major impact in the person
they are today- not being accepted and cherished by their parent. How do adult
children feel today about being abandoned by a parent as a child? Do they know
deep in their heart that they feel or behave a certain way because of it? Have
they reunited with the absent parent, and if so, what is their relationship
today? Finding answers to such questions was the initial purpose of the
I have since opened my eyes and realized that there are a huge number of
children today that have been abandoned by one of their parents. From my
Internet searches I realize that society does allow children to voice their
objections and express their sadness. When I was in the 9th grade I had a
friend whose parents were divorced. Her mom and the whole situation seemed
pretty cool. Until I reached adulthood that friend was the only person I knew
that did not see her father on a regular basis. My children's friends are not
so lucky. I would like for them to use this site to share their stories and to
speak with others like themselves.
And the absent parent...what is your story? Is there something that digs in
your heart too? Do you need help going back? Were you rejected when you tried?
Let us hear from you.